Sunday, 20 July 2014

Memories

Do you ever have moments where memories spring into your mind out of nowhere? I'll be on the bus or making breakfast, or something equally as insignificant, when suddenly I flashback into some moment I thought I'd forgotten about. This often ends in me bursting out into laughter (which attracts strange looks when on public transport...) or transforming into an old woman and needing to sit down to cope with the sudden wave of emotions. I have the memory of a goldfish, so it always takes me by surprise when I experience these 'random recalls' (is that a thing?). 

If you think about it, the fact that we can re-live moments in our mind at all is incredible, even if they're sometimes slightly 'fuzzy' and incorrect. It's like no matter what happens in the future, that event will be locked in your head until you forget it completely. Your memories really do die with you.

The sad thing is, sometimes the best experiences just become blurs of images in the back of your mind, where it's hard to reach that place properly and simple details like what colour t shirt you were wearing is forgotten. This is frustrating in cases where the memory was all you had left of that day or that person, and the facts are getting twisted in your brain until it's nothing like it was when it really happened. 

The thought that scares me the most is that one day, everything that I am living at the moment will also be forgotten. The stupid mistakes and the emotions that feel so intense right now will fade to nothing until they are no longer relevant or even possible for me to reach. There will come a day when I can't picture my high school friend's faces, and their voices no longer sound clear in my mind.

I am already terribly forgetful and I find myself in constant situations with my friends where I am insisting that something never happened, when in reality it did. I don't know why my memory is so bad, but I wish it wasn't. Having said that, after hearing of the condition 'Hyperthymia' I realised that I was okay with having a terrible memory. Hyperthymia is an extremely rare condition where certain individuals (only 33 recorded on earth!) can remember almost every moment of their lives. If you ask them questions like 'What shoes did you wear on November 18th 2006', they can tell you the answer without a second thought. These people can remember every moment of their lives.

I can't decide whether that would be very convenient or extremely traumatising. Imagine being able to recall your most embarrassing moments as if they were episodes of a TV show!

What do you think? Would you rather be slightly forgetful or able to memorise everything? Spanish exams would definitely be easier!

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