Sunday, 20 July 2014


Do you ever have moments where memories spring into your mind out of nowhere? I'll be on the bus or making breakfast, or something equally as insignificant, when suddenly I flashback into some moment I thought I'd forgotten about. This often ends in me bursting out into laughter (which attracts strange looks when on public transport...) or transforming into an old woman and needing to sit down to cope with the sudden wave of emotions. I have the memory of a goldfish, so it always takes me by surprise when I experience these 'random recalls' (is that a thing?). 

If you think about it, the fact that we can re-live moments in our mind at all is incredible, even if they're sometimes slightly 'fuzzy' and incorrect. It's like no matter what happens in the future, that event will be locked in your head until you forget it completely. Your memories really do die with you.

The sad thing is, sometimes the best experiences just become blurs of images in the back of your mind, where it's hard to reach that place properly and simple details like what colour t shirt you were wearing is forgotten. This is frustrating in cases where the memory was all you had left of that day or that person, and the facts are getting twisted in your brain until it's nothing like it was when it really happened. 

The thought that scares me the most is that one day, everything that I am living at the moment will also be forgotten. The stupid mistakes and the emotions that feel so intense right now will fade to nothing until they are no longer relevant or even possible for me to reach. There will come a day when I can't picture my high school friend's faces, and their voices no longer sound clear in my mind.

I am already terribly forgetful and I find myself in constant situations with my friends where I am insisting that something never happened, when in reality it did. I don't know why my memory is so bad, but I wish it wasn't. Having said that, after hearing of the condition 'Hyperthymia' I realised that I was okay with having a terrible memory. Hyperthymia is an extremely rare condition where certain individuals (only 33 recorded on earth!) can remember almost every moment of their lives. If you ask them questions like 'What shoes did you wear on November 18th 2006', they can tell you the answer without a second thought. These people can remember every moment of their lives.

I can't decide whether that would be very convenient or extremely traumatising. Imagine being able to recall your most embarrassing moments as if they were episodes of a TV show!

What do you think? Would you rather be slightly forgetful or able to memorise everything? Spanish exams would definitely be easier!

Sunday, 6 July 2014

Two weeks of chaos

Since I last blogged it feels like so much has happened. I have finished year 10 exams, meaning that I never have to do Statistics ever again! I celebrated by visiting TGI's with my best friend and watching the most talked about film of the year, The Fault In Our Stars. (which was okay.. get it?). Since then, school has seemed a lot calmer. With year 11's gone I am now amongst the oldest students which is crazy as it feels like year 7 was just yesterday. Along with being the new year 11 comes with the most important 'right of passage' in high school: sitting at the back of the bus, which is something we have waited patiently for until it was our turn. Yes, I know how sad that sounds but I can't deny how excited we were to finally sit at the most desired seat on a dirty school bus.

Last Monday I went to a sixth form taster day, as I am still in the process of deciding where I want to go after high school. The majority of people in my year are set on going to the nearest college which is huge (and right next to McDonalds..), however after my visit in February, I realised it wasn't really the place for me. After going to this sixth form I can now say it's where I want to go. I think that now I know this I'll have more determination to work hard, as I actually have some kind of plan now.

On Thursday last week after third period it became clear while staring at my time table, hoping it would change that I wasn't in the best mood to be doing P.E.. although having said that I never am. With the end of the school year slowly approaching, there always seems to be something going on in school that I can pretend to be a part of to avoid lessons, so I went on a search to find a room full of busy looking people. That day, it happened to be a year 6 fashion show from one of the local primary schools that was taking place in our theatre. Walking into the room I was met with lots of very short children who were (worryingly) running with scissors and attempting to make new outfits from the bin bags full of old clothes. Luckily I arrived at the end of the chaos and spent 5 minutes gluing sequins onto a bit of fabric before watching the dress rehearsal with a few of my friends who had been helping out all day. 

After deciding that 'wrecking ball' was not the most upbeat song for pre-teens to march down a catwalk to, my friend and I went into a room I had never been into before: the control room. A room with strict 'teacher only' access with the exception of two boys who know their way around the equipment as if it was the back of their hand. This was not a room I had ever had a chance to be in before, but nevertheless, we went in, plugged our phones into the speakers and started choosing incredibly inappropriate (but hilarious) songs; my personal favourite was 'Milkshake'..

Life has been pretty hectic lately but fun nevertheless. As of Monday I am on work experience for a week, which I am hoping is going to be fun. My best friend and I managed to get the same placement so I won't feel to awkward on my own.. After that is over I have one final week of school (which is off timetable so that means no work) until the summer holidays! I'm hoping to blog a lot more and avoid rambely posts like this. The reason I am including so much of my life is because in a way, my blog is like my own time capsule; I want to be able to re-read this in a few years and know exactly what I was doing at a certain time in my life, and hopefully nobody minds too much.

I hope you're all feeling less stressed now exam season is over! Have a great week (and I shall try to update this space of the internet more next week).