Saturday, 21 June 2014

it grows like fancy flowers but it grows nowhere


I've always been the kind of person who prefers to be alone. Although I love being surrounded by the energy of my friends, and falling into fits of laughter constantly, it can sometimes become very overwhelming and I need time to 'recharge' on my own. Many of the people in my life have big personalities that light up the room when they enter, and I've just never been that person. As much as I used to wish, as I invented a life inside my head where I wasn't so shy, I will never be the one to radiate confidence and happiness. These days I'm pretty content with this, however it can be hard for the more extroverted of people to understand, especially when I favour a night watching movies to 'being a teenager' and doing stereotypically rebellious things that I'm supposed to do at this age.

You'd think that my parents would be glad I was choosing quiet nights in my room over of loud parties often ending in disaster (I know from experience..), but no. I'm constantly told I need to escape my bedroom and live my life ("soak up some vitamin D" my Mum often tells me). I don't want to spend the rest of my teenage years being boring, but it's hard to find a balance between being comfortable and doing the things my friends want to do.

Today, after another week of stress due to a two and a half hour Spanish exam and yet more art coursework (it's never ending), I really wanted to spend the weekend doing absolutely nothing. After both my parents complained that all I was doing was sitting in bed on my laptop, I decided to face the outdoors. I haven't actually spent a lot of time in my garden since I was younger. Memories of picking the petals off of the roses my Dad has been growing in order to make 'perfume' with my sister (sorry Dad!) and using the hose as the ultimate water fight weapon are still some of my favourites from childhood summers, but since then I've spent more time elsewhere. I think we often forget that the best things in life are literally just outside of our doors, because returning to the patch of grass behind my house today was actually really relaxing and fun.

I spent the whole day drinking iced green tea (when it's hot it tastes like what I imagine the inside of a dishwasher would taste like) and reading, which makes me sound like someone's Grandma, but nevertheless, it was needed. One thing I did realise is that the whole conception of nature being 'peaceful' is completely wrong. I don't live in the wilderness, but insects and birds make a lot of noise which I think I usually tend to drown out.

Next week I have one GCSE exam and one mock and then I am done with Year 10 exams! I am celebrating on Tuesday by going to TGI Fridays (not on a Friday.. how hilarious..) and watching 'The Fault in Our Stars' like the rest of the world currently is, with my friend. I hope you are having a great weekend and aren't feeling too stressed about exams! Adios amigos

4 comments:

  1. This resonated with me so much - I feel like sending the link to friends whenever they ask me to go out. Parents too for that matter. You have such a power with words and it also gives me the comparisies (new phrase haha), I absolutely adore your writing style and we need a catch up ASAP!! Will send you a text tonight! lots of love, your BBF, Lauryn x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Also your new design is laaavelly-very snazzy indeed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lauryn you know just how to make me smile! Aw thank you, although I stand by the fact that your writing style is much better than mine haha! Ah can't waiiittt! Talk sooon! x

      Delete
  3. Your so similar to me Laura! I'm so shy around new people, which is probably why I love blogging so much as I can make friends so much easier- its pathetic!
    Written In Black & White

    ReplyDelete