Tuesday, 8 August 2017

wishing my days away

The resurrection of this blog is coming. In the meantime enjoy your summer and this playlist, ideal for all situations involving pool sides, summer nights, waiting for results day and sheer boredom as you search for clothes you can't afford all day.... just me?

Saturday, 5 August 2017

up the ladder to the roof

After months of heart palpitations, tears and extreme panic inducing stress, college has finally ended. Perhaps the most difficult yet incredible two years of my life are over and I'm now in this weird state of existence where my days are simply a countdown to results day, where the stress is likely to begin again. Right now, before I know how my future is going to turn out, I want it down in black and white that I'm proud of how hard I worked and even though my A levels made me cry endlessly, I loved the past two years and it's undeniable that I learnt a lot.

So, this playlist is titled "waiting", as that is all my life seems to consist of as of late. I hope you enjoy this, as it's my favourite one yet!

Saturday, 11 March 2017

i went to london for two days

Last week was spent sheltered under a broken umbrella and attempting to avoid the rain I ignored on the weather app a day prior as I was packing my bag with crop tops. Unfortunately, I don't have time to report every detail of my school trip to London, but you're not missing out on any educational facts or anything.. Rather than learning about Henry VIII's life at Hampton Court, we chose to sit on the heated floor to avoid the arctic temperatures outside. Just thought I'd share some pictures to avoid neglecting my blog fully this month.

I don't have a playlist today because I've only been listening to Childish Gambino's new album "Awake My Soul" for the past two months. 

See you soooooon when I'm not drowning in coursework. 

Monday, 23 January 2017

My 2016 playlist

My 2016 recap was so long that I decided this playlist required a post of its own. Of all the music I've raved about this year, these songs are my most played and probably the ones I'll listen to with nostalgia in later years.

Although few of these songs were actually released last year, they just happen to be the ones I listened to the most. I hope you enjoy my least organised, most randomised playlist yet!


2016 was honestly one of the best years of my life, albiet with some of my worst moments mixed in. Within those 365 days I experienced more than I imagined I would, both incredible and unfortunate, which ultimately resulted in one of my most memorable years yet. Unlike my round up of 2015, this post includes multiple photos of me (weird) which hopefully reflects the confidence I've gained within 2016 and not vanity!!! 

What did I do?
  • Quit the job that had become the bane of my life (and believe me I was not "just quitting" out of laziness)
  • Exams and coursework.. if I could use emojis on my blog I would reflect my feelings on this subject with the dead face.. or perhaps the gun. 
  • Visited so many UK cities visiting universities 
  • Attended a Channel 4 event!!! 
  • Visited the Isle of Skye and Portugal 
  • Spent endless hours with my friends laughing until I cried
  • Began my last year at college
  • And so much more that I don't want to bore you with any longer.

What didn't I do?
  • get to college on time
  • blog..........
I am truly grateful for the happiness I experienced during what most have called "the worst year ever". Despite the negatives that also entered my life, I have somehow remained positive and happy, something I can mostly credit to the incredible people I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by. Re-visiting old blog posts reminds me how dramatic I was at age fourteen (four years ago?!?! how :(((() and how negative situations had the ability to affect me enormously. Fortunately along with the four birthdays I've had since then has come maturity and I finally know I can survive this (thanks Destiny's Child... did I mention yet I saw BEYONCE?!?!?).

Hopefully 2017 is equally as memorable, for the right reasons. Love to you all and happy belated New Year!

Sunday, 8 January 2017

the edge of seventeen

I began blogging just weeks after my fourteenth birthday, publishing my absent thoughts to a non existent audience, accompanied by a bad photo of some lip balm or my favourite body spray. Although my life has changed drastically since then, blogging remains the one constant and I'm endlessly thankful to my former self for choosing to document my teenage years. Looking back on posts from 2013 is painfully embarrassing, but I'm glad I gave myself the chance to watch as I grew up, through my blog, as it has now become such a crucial part of my teenage years.

In one hour, I turn eighteen.

It would be impossible to sum up the entirety of my emotions into one blog post, but for the sake of trying, I am: excited, scared and happy. My childhood has officially vanished, and suddenly I am supposed to grow up. I can now vote, drink, buy fireworks, apply for a mortgage, get married, get a tattoo and become an organ donor. It's as if all of a sudden, the keys to life have been handed to me despite the fact just yesterday they were out of reach.

If all goes to plan, 2017 will be the most important year of my life so far. I will turn eighteen, finish my A levels, move away from the town I've lived in my entire life and go to university... SCARY. I hope to continue documenting my life through this blog (maybe more consistently this year...) as I've done for the past four years. Everything from prom to my morning bus playlist has been published on this little space of the internet, and I am so happy about that.

For the past four years I've done everything to avoid posting photos of myself on this blog but today it seemed necessary. Me at seventeen, something you will never see again (lol fml).

Lately I've been listening to Kids In Glass Houses (what a throwback to year 7) and Modern Baseball on repeat, but I think only one song is appropriate today.

Sunday, 27 November 2016

thoughts during chaos

Photographs. My teenage insecurities, printed on glossy paper, worn from years of being blu tacked to the walls or hidden beneath old christmas cards in boxes under my bed. A constant reminder of a time my days weren't plagued with the responsibility of university applications or the pressure of coursework deadlines. My bedroom walls lined with images of innocence as I sit between them and contemplate whether I'm actually ready to leave home in less than a year... the answer seems to be no. I have spent a lot of time feeling as though my childhood is not complete, as if I'm still waiting for something to happen. Yet, the more I consider this, the more I realise that as I wait for something amazing, I ignore the turbulence, sadness, joy and weirdness that have made my teenage years so memorable and great. 

It seems that I, along with everybody else, have been on a life long search for something extraordinary, never found gazing at flecks of paint in the louvre or standing before the ocean with my feet in the dirt. Thousands of postcards and dull holiday snapshots and yet of all the seven wonders in the world I am yet to find one comparable to the sunlight hitting the kitchen tiles of my grandparents house. Sometimes the most incredible thing you witness isn't heralded as a landmark, but is just something you pass on a car journey.

I've mentioned this before on the blog, but I'm constantly finding that it is the unexpected moments I am truly happy in. Never have I looked back on my year 8 school trip to Paris with nostalgia at how ecstatic I was in Disneyland, but occasionally I think of how fucking hilarious it was to sit in a shitty bunk bed with my friends. I wouldn't care to re-visit prom, but if I could I would exist once again in a year nine english lesson, complete with braces and all the general awkwardness I felt at the age of fourteen. Maybe my sixteenth birthday was boring, but a random tuesday afternoon at college could be one of the happiest moments of my existence (unlikely tho..). 

Sometimes beauty is artificial. Although the ocean and the moon and mountains are deserving of their breathtaking abilities, I cannot deny the pure happiness of seeing the crumbling bricks that frame my home town, or the peace within the clothes scattered on my bedroom floor. Perhaps my new found adoration of my surroundings has been triggered by the sudden realisation that soon I will have to leave it all behind, when truthfully I do not feel ready at all. 

So, if you can't tell, the past few weeks have been stressful. However, I feel as though I'm handling it better than expected... despite the neglect of this blog again, but I think right now I have real excuses.

This playlist is perhaps my most unexpected yet... I never anticipated that Adele would feature on my blog but here she is! Lately I've found comfort in a wider range of music, resulting in these ten songs which perhaps wouldn't fit together anywhere else. I've also found myself listening to My Chemical Romance again, for the first time since I was like twelve or thirteen and an obsessive... it feels good. (also been playing We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off - Jermaine Stewart on repeat.... but didn't think it would fit). OHHHHH and I'm not a Lumineers fan, but this music video is beautiful.